Beware the Agapanthus

"Beware the Agapanthus" was a sign posted on an English lady's gate to deter criminals or whomever else might disturb an English lady.

She felt quite safe in the knowledge that criminals and thieves are unlikely to know that the Agapanthus was just a plant in her garden.

So the "Lunagrams" is just a book of poetry and it's pretty cool to do it but I don't think anyone's going to call out the Rockettes over it!  Beware the Anti-Climax, he said with a look of Spartan readiness!

Even tho I know it's futile, that kind of makes it cooler as if poetry is supposed to be futile or why do it (laughs).  Gimme some more gin, barkeep.  Hell no, don't take the bottle away!

"Lunagrams" Web Site Online

Waiting for Apple is annoying so I have two choices:  write endless blog entries to bitch or create a Web site on which I can market the book myself.  Lunagrams at My Duck Soup does just that.  As soon as I get word back from the testers, I'll put tabs on the page to make the book available for purchase.  The page is fully built, save the purchase buttons, and you might like to take a look.

The key to doing anything yourself is you must have your own ISBN.  If you let a distributor obtain it for you then you'll be tied exclusively to that distributor.  If you get it yourself, you're not tied exclusively to anyplace and can send the book to one or all, as you like.  The other part of the decision on ISBN is the price.  If sign up exclusively with a distributor, you'll get the ISBN for free.  If you get it yourself, you'll pay between $55 and $125 US.

Book Status - Waiting, Waiting

No sign of approval from Apple as yet and no word back from those with copies of the book for their iPads.  The second part isn't surprising as they only got them yesterday and I know for sure that one won't have time to look at it until the week-end.  Displaying a surprising awareness of calendars, I notice that the week-end is tomorrow so hopefully news on that soon.

I went through everything last night, line by line.  I'm satisfied the book is really, really finished so I'll release it as soon as I get word back from the Special Cherubs.

If there are any Special Cherubs out there with an iPad who would like to check out the book for free, please let me know via email and I'll send one to you.  In return, I request a note on any problems you may have in loading it.  Note!  This is not a program so it can't hurt your system.  I just need validation that you can drop the book into iTunes and then the book successfully loads into your iPad.  It works fine like that on mine, I just need to know it's the same for everyone.  It doesn't matter if you run Apple or Windows as I need validation on both.

Cadillac Man said it reads well and that's pretty cool as he has the PDF version which is a horror to read relative to the tablet version so he had to work to go through it.  Thank you!

He was surprised at how many poems are in it and that's pretty cool as he's known me for a very long time.  It suddenly struck me just now, tho:  holy cow, I've even known the Cadillac Man longer than the Mystery Lady!  I don't know when in life it crosses over from friends to blood brothers but I think we're there, bro!

I'm not expecting anyone to read all the stuff and review the content.  I wanted to show you that what I've been doing sure sounds like stoner fantasy but it ain't!  It would be stoner fantasy to believe anyone will buy it but I don't have that fantasy anyway (laughs).

Today's Silas T-Shirt Suggestion:  Poets don't get rich, they just get drunk

If You've Been Thinking About Using Facebook

The FBI announced plans to implement software that will scan Twitter, Facebook, and other social network feeds.  (BBC: FBI plans social network map alert mash-up application)

They've been doing this stuff for a while so it's not clear why they're announcing it now.  It does amuse me that there's nothing on CNN about it.  I discovered this one reading the BBC.

Just as many were accused of pedophilia for sending naked pictures of their own babies to CVS or similar, the FBI will have the same power regarding anything you say in a social network.  This in combination with NDAA creates the potential for a police state that Hitler would have traded Eva Braun and all his dogs to get.

I'm not angry and I can't say I even care.  At this stage in life, if people want to screw up the country, let 'em.  I'll take pictures (laughs).  However, it's yet another reason to stay the hell off any social networks.

"Lunagrams" - Marketing the Book

Waiting for approval from Apple to upload to the iBookstore is all part of it but then it dawned that I don't have to wait for anything.  I've sent a couple of copies of the actual book to some friends to try it on their iPads.  Assuming they have no trouble loading it, I can offer the book for sale immediately on Duck Soup. In fact, the Lunagrams page is already set up and I'll put PayPal buttons on it as soon as I get validation back on the test copies.

Another twist on this is that it gives me the freedom to offer the 'Patron' version as it's going to cost more because I'll embed video and do more grandstanding of what the iPad can do.  That makes the book too large for the iBookstore but it's fine as an option on my own.

Two more twists in descending probability:  the PDF version you got is rough, it's just an unpolished conversion from the iBook.  However, I can pretty that up and offer that as a product for full-size computers.  Next idea after that is to print a physical stack at Kinkos.  However, I've learned from carrying bags of t-shirts around that doing such a thing is prob'ly not a good idea.

So, two things pending:  I'm waiting for the approval from Apple and I'm also waiting for validation from the testers.  It's all quite good!

Draft Copies of "Lunagrams" in the Mail

Some draft copies of "Lunagrams" are being distributed and I'd like to emphasize that I'm not asking for reviews.  In PDF format, you can't really get how it feels on a tablet but it gives a taste of what it might be like.  If you have an iPad, I'll be happy to send a copy of the actual book but this offer only applies to the Inner Cyrkle, Special Cherubs Division!  (laughs)

I'm on-hold with the application to Apple for permission to upload to the iBookstore.  Nothing much to add to that.  None of us tolerate standing in lines very well.

What was resolved from the chaos of the last forty-eight hours is that there is no chance my book can be uploaded to any other platform (i.e. Amazon, etc.) without significant re-formatting of the content and I'm willing to do that.  However, I'll see how it does on the iBookstore to determine the value in doing it.  The actual process is to re-do it in Microsoft Word which wouldn't exactly be sweaty labor, it's just Microsoft and that's always smelly.

Makes note:  Consider getting it printed at Kinko's and duplicated for some physical copies.  Perhaps the expense isn't as bad as you imagine.


Since no chance of movement on book while I wait, this was time to turn the knobs to ten and make a godawful noise.

What really happened is that I got a thing going that I thought it'd be cool to do "People Get Ready" and it was just a rough cut but I was thinking dayum!  It still lives and I might even release it.  How you cross the Rainbow Bridge doesn't matter.  It only matters that you do it.

People get ready,
  there's a train a'comin'

However, apparently the Lord didn't appreciate my rendition too much as he killed the red laser.  That kind of pissed me off as it's not that old and was much too young for that.  There's no question of death.  I evaluated every combination of dip switch settings and the best it could do was a feeble little beam.  Son, that dog ain't comin' home.

I've got two more purples on stand-by but we've already determined they're sissies.  I'll give one more a chance as the purple I've been using has troubles as well.  The greens are the oldest and they're doing fine so it's not age but rather dumb luck that's killed these others.  You've got to expect casualties with lasers as they operate by spinning a mirror in front of the laser beam.  Any mechanism that delicate is not going to take a punch very well.

Publishing with Apple iBooks Author

The most crucial aspect of publishing your book such that it retains its formatting is to export it in TMSP format such that it can subsequently be imported into iTunes Producer for submission to the iBookstore.

Without going into detail, understand that there are three wobbling standards for EPUB and that which is used by Apple pushes beyond any of them.  Therefore, any EPUB conversion utility will turn your iBooks Author PDF file into a smoking pile of rubbish.  I've tried multiple times with calibre and, believe me, it won't work.

I will be able to advise on the efficacy of using iTunes Producer to upload the book to the iBookstore as soon as my account is approved.

I was really starting to think that the book might be lost unless I did some major re-formatting in Microsoft Word and subsequently sent that into EPUB conversion.  That would be work but it'd be like using Facebook to design a nuclear power plant.  Something's goin' to blow.

So I'm still pretty annoyed but loss of sleep over this is part of it so do believe Silas is one cranky bastard today but what that tells me is walk away from it for now and either crank up some jams or just crash (laughs).

In fact, sometimes peace comes in front of big ol' nasty pot of mac&cheese&peas, a delicacy I invented and which I freely admit has saved me from starvation multiple times.  It's got all your vital nutrients: yer veggies, yer cheese, and yer pasta.  That's a meal, man!

So, yeah, feeling somewhat better.

Apple iBooks Author Does Not Support EPUB

There's no point in writing an editorial on the matter as the reason is obvious.  Keeping things proprietary has been one of the most destructive forces in the industry.

The project is absolutely not abandoned as this is not the only way to market an ebook.  It will take some research to review what it will take to convert what I have but I'll leave it to cool for now.  I'm quite smoking mad about it.  I knew that iTunes requires EPUB format for its commercial books and I made the mistaken assumption that iBooks Author would create the file but that does not appear to be true.

I'll research further.  At worst this will slow me down.


Updated:  Not pleased.  The calibre program produced an EPUB document that was hopelessly-trashed.  I don't have a good answer just now.  I've applied to Apple for what is, in effect, a partnership program but its only purpose is to get permission to upload books.  That still won't solve the formatting problem but it's another required step that must be completed.


Updated again:  The missing piece is that one must export from iBooks Author to create a TMSP file that can in turn be imported into iTunes Producer for submission to the iBookstore.  This is good in that the book is not lost but it's bad in that it can't work on anything but an iPad.  Write your own editorial on that one.

I knew that the book would only work on an iPad but I didn't realize the chaos of the EPUB ebook format.

Quick Update on the Book

Everything has now been covered for a commercial release of "Lunagrams" to the iTunes Store to sell for $4.99.  I'm doing the final proofing of it as I'm satisfied all the content I want for it is in there.  Other poems exist but I didn't consider them candidates.  That doesn't mean they'll pop up in a sequel but rather I'm making up my mind if they suck.

"The Death of Cynthia" is something I did not include and it was ok that people got mad with me for it but not that it made them mad with each other.  That doesn't serve galactic peace in any kind of way so it was dropped.  Maybe that's being wimpy but I believe it's a valid cut.

It wound up at 40+ poems at 70+ pages divided into eight chapters with the first being just the introduction. There is very little verbiage as it's not my intention to tell you what a poem meant to me as I don't consider it relevant to what it meant to you.  Conversely, what it meant to you is relevant to me as it helps me understand my own words better and sometimes even my own thoughts.

This looks like it was effortless but really it took forty years to think them up, five or six years to write them down, and a couple of days to cut and paste them into a book.  Nothing to it!

This is not losing focus as the lyrics have been part of it all along.  I wanted them out and visible so now they will be.  At the same time, I was adjusting the red and blue lasers so they're now ready for programmed control.  Nah, no loss of focus here.  I was willing to give a certain amount of time to the book and I'm most pleased that it didn't come close to taking that long.

So I like to make stuff and this is what I make and I feel pretty perky about it!  (laughs)

Silas the Author? Say What?

"Lunagrams" is now up to about thirty-five poems and I'm guessing maybe ten or so more to complete all the poems I've got saved.  There's about a fifty percent kill rate on them.  I don't delete the deaders but it's not likely they'll ever come out of the cage if I don't consider them good enough for the book.

I said I'd NEVER write a damn book and, what do you know, I write a damn book.  wtf!  (laughs)

One thing that's cool about a poetry is that it's the opposite of a blog as you are absolutely not supposed to write it as if you're paid by the word.  If someone's out to read some poetry, they don't want to read twelve pages of mumbo-jumbo about how many miles through the snow you walked to get to your office to work.

Overall, I'm satisfied that it's not taking more time than I'm willing to give and that it'll be a good, as in pro, result.  Donika had never touched an iPad before yesterday and she had some trouble with it but not much.

However, that's the biggest drawback.  This iBook will only work on an iPad.  I can export a PDF which I could send to anyone but that would lose all the interactivity of it.  Something else I want to know is if it can be pitched as a regular ebook that could be shipped to Amazon, etc.  It'd be good if you all could see this thing!


A parallel project is getting the lasers cut over to DMX control.  I discovered what has been causing the problem with the controller all along as a bad cable anywhere along the daisy chain of cables lights won't just blow the connection to those lights and beyond but rather all of them.  There's nothing wrong with the controller other than being clunky and annoying.

We'll skip the aggravation part as it's super-annoying dealing with setting up the lights.  The progress after was quite dramatic, so much so that Donika could only stay in the room in bursts as the light was so intense.  While clubs like to shoot lasers all over the place, I like shooting them all at the same place as it gives a result that looks like, to me, something of a moving Jackson Pollock.  That is something I really, really want to photograph.  It's nothin' but flippin' gorgeous!  Well, except for the driving you insane part.

The purple laser started the day as a sissy, then decided not to be a sissy, and then went back to being a sissy again.  Anyone that wishy-washy could only be headed for politics so he will prob'ly get fired.

Tonight is when they should go completely insane.  I've still got to program a blue one and a red one.  With that done, all devices will be responding to the controller and extremely whacked-out stuff can be done.  This stuff is such a hassle that it needs to be done in daylight hours.  That'll give plenty of time to check it out for the next shot tonight.


So, nothing much to see but good progress on a variety of things.  Yahoo!